Anger is a biological response to threat. Abuse is behavior and a choice. There is a big difference betweet feeling anger and abusive behavior. - Anger is a biological response to threat. The felt sense of anger is just one of the lights on our biological dashboard that alert us to possible threat. I use the word possible because the perception of threat does not always amount to actual threat.
EXAMPLE: It's a really hot day. You decide to go see a movie with some friends. The seats are comfortable, the theater is air conditioned, movie snacks and drinks are at the ready and the film starts. The movie is pure fiction, yet part way through the story you notice your blood pressure increases, feelings of anger and betrayal flood your body. You notice your hands are clenched in tight fists, ready to punch. You are experiencing the felt sense of anger. - The point of this is example is to show that our perception of reality and acutal reality can be out of alignment. There is no actual physical threat in this situation. Your nervous system got all fired up over an imaginary situation playing out on the big screen . The movie ends, the house lights come on and eventually your perception of reality catches up with actual reality. You calm down and head the restroom because you just drank a 32 ounce drink.
However, sometimes our perception is spot on. Anger is a primal survival instinct and a powerful tool for change. If it wasn't for anger women would not have the right to vote, slavery would still be legal, and there would be no child labor laws (just to name a few things).
Working with the tides of anger as it flows in and out of our day to day
lives. In our work together I will teach you how to think about your
thoughts, and how to observe your feelings, as if from a distance. You will
learn how to develop the ability to immediately pause when hit by an anger
trigger, and breathe your way through it, utilizing wiser self talk, and
then come back with an appropriate response, rather than a thoughtless
reaction. It will take some time to understand this practice, and it will
take some time with me coaching you to develop this skill, but once you have
achieved it, you will reap the benefits in many ways. Not the least of which
will be that you will feel a much greater sense of personal well-being. And
when you are happier and healthier, so are those that are close to you.
Please don't hestiate to contact me if I can be of help.
-Carla
